Gaslighting, a term often used to describe the act of manipulating someone into doubting their own reality, it isn't just something that occurs between two individuals. Surprisingly, some people gaslight themselves, undermining their own feelings and perceptions. Recognizing these signs is essential to break free from this harmful cycle. Here are 5 signs that indicate you might be gaslighting yourself, along with common examples.
1. Constant Self-Doubt
Example: After witnessing a minor car accident, you second guess your memory and wonder if it really happened the way you remember, even though you saw it clearly.
If you frequently question your judgment, decisions, or feelings, without any tangible reason, you're likely gaslighting yourself. This often includes second guessing your memories and being in a state of confusion about actual events.
2. Invalidating Your Feelings and Emotions
Example: You feel hurt when a friend cancels plans at the last minute, but you tell yourself you're just being "too sensitive" or "overreacting."
This sign involves downplaying or dismissing your own emotions. You might often convince yourself that you're irrational or that your feelings are unjustified.
3. Believing You're Always in the Wrong
Example: Someone bumps into you at the store, but you apologize first, thinking you must've been in their way.
Individuals who self gaslight constantly see themselves as the culprits. They apologize more than necessary, even for situations beyond their control, thinking they might've done something wrong.
4. Doubting Your Capabilities
Example: You've successfully managed projects at work, but when assigned a new project, you think, "Can I really handle this? Maybe I was just lucky before."
People who are trapped in the cycle of self gaslighting consistently underestimate their potential. They might seek validation from others while dismissing their own accomplishments and abilities.
5. Being Anchored to the Past
Example: After a disagreement with a colleague, you find yourself ruminating on a similar disagreement you had years ago, thinking, "If only I had said or done things differently then."
If you're frequently held back by past mistakes or situations, replaying the "should have" and "would have" scenarios in your mind, you're potentially gaslighting yourself. This fixation prevents you from moving forward and embracing the present.
Recognizing these signs in oneself is the first step to breaking the cycle and seeking healthier self perceptions and self-worth.
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